Monday, 8 September 2014

Chocolate is no substitution for sex!

It has been a LONG week, and it is not over yet. This new roster I'm on is taking me a while to get use to. I do these long stretches of days, and then have a 4 day break, and then work again until the fortnight four day break comes back. I still get my Tuesdays off, but I have lost my Sundays, and now have to work a full weekend each fortnight , which feels like I am always at work. My Tuesdays are now filled with catch up things, like ironing, appointments, and housework like cleaning the loo, you know all the little jobs only mummy fairies seem to do, or notice. The sad thing is, as much as my four day break is so very welcomed, it flies. It's like a wake up and fart and it's over. (insert sigh here)

And what's with people and full moons? Why is it when we are having a full moon all the moody, shitty people decide to come out. They spread their grumpy moods hoping to infect others with their rude, sour, personalities. I like to say "HEY, I can only imagine your day must really suck, but do you have to be a total fucktard towards me?" SERIOUSLY!  If people could read my thought bubbles I would be in deep trouble.

Well as you may or may not know, this year has been devoted to a cleaner eating, less sugar, less grain, no pasta, rice, bread, blah blah blah...........

I have been mostly good, but not militant towards my diet. I had weaned myself completely off chocolate. I think I lasted almost  three months, but then shit happened, and I got stressed, and hubby was stressed, which as we know means the love life sector suffers, so I gave in and replaced sex with chocolate, and now I eat the bloody stuff like I use to. (...and NO, it is not better than an orgasm)

Even our govt it seems is on the case......

Tony Abbott’s taxpayer-funded sex lessons for intimacy starved lovers as part of government’s relationship counselling scheme

The replies in the posts would suggest that men are  not so convinced the issue is on them, and that women are still the ones turning off the lights, and putting up the no sex tonight dear signs.

I really don't think we can just lump people into groups. Each couple is to be looked at as a separate study.

Why is there not enough sex in the relationship?
What is going on in their lives?
What is their relationship based on?  Love, convenience,  status........
Are they friends as well as partners?
Demanding jobs?
No job?

So many factors.

Then to our men who want sex...... what kind of hubby are you?
Do you work?
Do you help about the house?
Do you listen to your wife, talk. Share the kids, help in the kitchen, pay her attention?
Or are you the come home, demand dinner, eat in front of the telly, put shit on her for not having the house clean, despite the fact that she has been up since 5 am, done 5 loads of washing, chased after 3 kids all day, and cooked, washed up, did baths, story times, knows that she will only get 5 hours sleep before it starts up again, and she has work too, and expect at bed time to have a sex goddess awaiting your in your bed! 

NO YOU FUCKING GREEDY MAN, she at this point is trying hard to remember why the fuck she even liked you in the first place!

She resents you.
She is jealous of you.
She is so in need of you.

And what of your hygiene sir?

Are you clean?
Do you smell of BO?
Do you clip your nails, and remove tags, and keep them clean? No woman is going to want rough dirty hands caressing her inner thighs. We have enough issues with the plumbing down there, without adding infections and extra bacteria to boot.

Have you brushed your teeth, do to sink of beer and chips?

We really don't need flowers, and treats.... personally I think women who use men like that are pretty shallow. 

But it is a two way street having a relationship. Women have memories like elephants, and men can be clueless. Unlike porn, most women need more than that to get going. Remember those girls are getting paid big bucks, or they wouldn't be fucking those guys either!

A woman wants to be wanted, she needs to feel loved and appreciated.  It is amazing what a small gesture can do to uplift a mood.

I am so lucky to have such a man. We may not be rich, be good in health, or have the luxury of our own home, but we have LOVE, trust and RESPECT for each other. I wouldn't trade that for anything. So I don't get as much sex as I'd like. If the kids were not about so much , maybe we would get a bit more? But it is our family, and we love them. Sure life throws in a spanner every now and then, but you have to ride it out. 

Do I want to be thinner? YES. Have I lost any more weight since May? No. Does my husband love me any less? NO. So really I am doing OK, right?

Life is what you make it. We can choose to be bitter, and grumpy, or we can try and make sunshine out of the rain.

People need to be loved. So SMILE at a stranger. Be kind to the person who serves you at the shops, or the post office, or the get my point. 

Everyone is going through something. EVERYONE.

It could always be worse.....remember that.

So go and hug that someone. Your mum, your dad, your husband, wife, child, cat, dog, parrot........ just be glad that you are  not in a war zone, or have cancer, or something so bad that there is no coming back from.

Just be kind, and share a little kindness in your day. I promise you it will come back to you, and it will feel really good. Not as good as awesome sex, but GOOD. 

Keep smiling people.