I am beautiful ...You are beautiful......#9

I am going through some stressful home issues at the moment. Just life, bills, and lack of money. It will sort it's self, but everything happens at once and of course I solve it with food. But I am aware of what I am doing so I am a step ahead this time. I made some really nice veggie green soup. Loads of green veggies, and chick peas to thicken it up. It felt good to reward myself this way. I just have to get out of this depressed mood. My insecurities have peaked and I am feeling scared, not in control, and vulnerable.

Today I removed myself from everyone. I just went to my room and got into bed and closed my eyes. I needed to step out, re-charge, and just give myself an hour to breathe. I cried, and it was so cleansing. It actually made me feel like I had removed something heavy off my body.

So the past few weeks I have stepped back into old programmed unsafe comfort eating patterns, but today I feel back on track. 

Trust is such a big thing. I guess this steams from my past??

I still believe I am moving forward, even with a small step backwards........I may never be a size 10. I would be over the moon to get to a size 16. But for now I am going to be happy with my healthier size 18. It use to be a 20-22, so I have made some progress. 

Just remember we are all beautiful in our own way. 

"Beautiful"

CHRISTINA AGUILERA

[Spoken]

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful

Then suddenly it's hard to breathe.

Now and then I get insecure

From all the pain, I'm so ashamed.

I am beautiful no matter what they say.

Words can't bring me down.

I am beautiful in every single way.

Yes, words can't bring me down... Oh no.

So don't you bring me down today.

To all your friends you're delirious,

So consumed in all your doom.

Trying hard to fill the emptiness.

The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone.

is that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring you down....oh no

You are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring you down, oh, no

So don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do

(no matter what we do)

No matter what we say

(no matter what we say)

We're the song inside the tune

Full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go

(and everywhere we go)

The sun will always shine

(the sun will always, always shine)

And tomorrow we might wake on the other side

We are beautiful no matter what they say

Yes, words won't bring us down, no, no

We are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring us down, oh, no

So don't you bring me down today

Oh, yeah, don't you bring me down today, yeah, ooh

Don't you bring me down ooh... today