I know it's been a while. Much has been happening. School battles have been fort and won. Swimming lessons booked, and started. School routine in full motion. After school play dates had. Work has gone through some major staff changes. Tragic events have unfolded, and we have had to say goodbye to some lovely people, some for a while and some sadly forever. Hurtful moments started to heal. Changes are happening.
Life is this ocean of never ending waves..................
I have been doing a study course of late. One on my condition PCOS. Through this I have been learning a lot about why my body does what it does, and how food can dramatically help make positive changes. It's been very full on, and between the mummy thing, the work thing, and the wife thing, finding time to sit down and not fall asleep to study has been a very big challenge.
Already , I have made huge progress in improving my health. I lost some weight, I have been feeling healthier, and I am currently off all my back medications, and have been like this for 3 weeks. No joke.
I am Insulin Resistant. My body makes too much. Different to a dietetic. When I eat foods that have sugar, or the capacity to turn to sugar, such has rice pasta, bread.....My body goes ape with pumping out insulin. It pumps out more than I can deal with, and what happens is my body stores all the sugar and refuses to let me burn it, like other normal people who can hit the gym, or walk and rid themselves of excess calories. Basically it's keeping me fat.
Then of course with excess weight comes other health issues, so you get into this never ending catch 22. I shall add a link on Wheat Belly. It explains why people are fatter today than they were 40 years ago, and why we are more unhealthy, and it has nothing to do with lifestyle or choices. If you are suffering high cholesterol, or blood pressure. Are maybe fat around the middle, or at risk of type 2 diabetes. Maybe you have skin rashes, or allergies?? Watch this, it may give you some answers, it may help you get better.
Anyway enough about that.
In my PCOS course, a challenge has been set to write a love letters to yourself. A lot women have had abusive pasts, or trauma, and there also seems to be a big link between this and fat. So as part of the healing journey we must re-learn to love ourselves.
So here goes............... For the next few weeks I will write to myself, and tell myself what I think. I must look at myself not through the eyes of CRISS, but through the eyes of others.... This isn't going to be an easy task for me, which is why I have put if off for several weeks already. So don't laugh...........
I just wanted to say that I am proud of you. You have really stepped up, and taken action to change things you thought were unchangeable. I know the progress is slow, and you would like the results to be more dramatic, but you are not giving up, and that takes will power and guts, and you have that. Well done.
Your butt is starting to become more squishy, it feels softer, and is nice to touch. Your husband is noticing, that must make you feel really good? It should. You hair is longer and healthy. You are not has moody or tired. Well done.
I'll be watching your progress, and I am looking forward to seeing what happens next. But don't get all hung up on the weight loss. It is not about the weight loss. It is about the health. It is about staying around for your kids. You love your family like life itself.
Do not forget to keep loving you. Love yourself as much as you love them.
You deserve this Criss. You are a good person.